I LOVE Patrick.
I love him so much that I blow him kisses for no reason. We whisper corny sentiments whenever we say goodbye to eachother on the phone. He can just glance at me as he is passing by and I get all goosebumpy and have to blow him a sexy girl, oo-la-la kind of smooch.
Combine those ooozing feelings of mushiness with my already too-crowded brain and it’s a given that the wires will get crossed.
Once Patrick and I were laying on the couch in the living room late at night watching TV. Theresa called to chat and I was kind of sleepy. It went like this:
ME: Well, I’m tired, I’m off to bed now.
HER: OK, I’ll see you tomorrow.
ME: OK, see you later…I love you… (whispered in a breathy baby talk tone)
HER: Ewwwww! You sicko! That was SO gross!! Ewwwwww..!!
Patrick, who had been lounging like a napping lion only moments before, was now sitting up tall, chest out, looking all defensive and homeboy like. “Who are YOU talking to?”
By that time I was hysterically, laughing, Theresa was still grossing out at the other end of the phone line and Patrick figured out what was going on. He shook his head and gave me the “you really frighten me sometimes” look. To this day, Theresa always brings up the topic whenever we are in a group gathering.
Up until today, it was the most embarrassing time I ever got my wires crossed.
There I was at my desk at work, happily click-clacking away on my keyboard working on my Halloween shopping story. For a passing moment I thought of calling Patrick to tell him what time to pick me up. “3:30? 4 pm? Oh that Patrick, I love him so much…”
Right then, a nice, polite news reporter from the 9th floor named Daniel passed by my desk. “Hey Kathy..” he said casually as he walked by.
I looked up and without even taking a breath, I blew him an animated Jessica Rabbit sexy air kiss! Right in front of everyone!
Ack! I caught my boo boo as soon as my face returned to its normal position. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand in total shock. Did that really just happen? Or was I daydreaming? Yup, it really happened all right.
It really wasn’t a big deal (I don’t think), I don’t know if anyone saw. What I do know is my face turned bright red and I began to shake uncontrollably with laughter. If I had been drinking Pepsi, it would have come out of my nose. Daniel sensed the Kathy commotion, turned around and came back to see what happened. Being a total dork, I told him.
Can you imagine how it must have sounded to have a co-worker tell you:
“Oh I just accidentally blew you a sexy kiss, but it was really meant for my husband at home…”
Daniel chuckled nervously and gave me the “you really frighten me sometimes” kind of look.
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