FGC: Fat Girl Confessions

This is a brilliant term my friend Amy thought of.

“FGC” : When a calorically challenged female has a dirty thought/experience about food and can share it only with someone else who suffers from the same addiction. If you’ve never worn a clothing size with an “X” in it, you won’t get this – so let me explain by example.

We’re at a wedding reception, everyone is clinking glasses, laughing, sharing stories and my eyebrow is twitching because the server hasn’t brought a bread basket to our table yet. Bread basket comes, salad, main course, yah..yah…waiting for the grand finale – the wedding cake. BTW, I have serious cake issues.

Wedding cake comes, newly married couple does their thing and Amy and I are at the front of the line to get our *slice*. We head back to our table, don’t even speak, we just get down to the business of inserting fork into cake and then into mouth. Yes, it was delish, creamy, moist, juicy filling. But something made me feel sad. At the risk of having Amy think I was a freak, I went ahead and told her my Fat Girl Confession.

I leaned and whispered, “Amy – I have an FGC.”

She put down her fork and turned to me. “Go ahead, I’m listening. You can share it with me.”

“OK, here I am at this gorgeous wedding, sitting outside under these beautiful twinkling lights with my friends and family, eating a five-star dinner. I get this huge hunk of yummy cake and STILL I have a void in my heart because all I can think about is how I wish I had a bottle of Hershey’s Dark Chocolate syrup to drizzle on it!”

Amy giggled, lifted her fork again and cut off a chunk of her cake. “I totally understand. I have an FGC too. All I can think about is how disappointed I am because I really wanted a corner piece…” and she took the bite and smiled at me. We laughed, had a couple more tastes and left the undesirable rest. I love Amy.

My most recent FGC came yesterday. It’s a pretty bad one. I don’t even know why I’m posting it here!

I went to Barnes and Noble to order a Venti Sugar Free Vanilla Low Fat Latte. (My FGC’s always start with a good intention). As I walked by the bakery case on my way to the order taker, I saw a blur out of the corner of my eye. A BLUR, that’s all – just a blob of fuzzy things behind a pane of glass.

I placed my order. “Hi! I would like a Venti Sugar Free Vanilla Low Fat Latte, please.”

“Sure, anything else?” the skinny goth-looking barista asked.

“Yes, my friend would like one of those Double Fudge Cupcakes thingies. Do you have those here?”

She looked at me with a glimmer in her eye and said, “Sure.” She proceeded to make my drink and then she had the audacity to ask, “Would you like a plate, is this for here?”

Hello? I’m by myself, do you see my friend here? Why would my friend would want it on a plate when she clearly is not in the area? I thought sarcastically. “No, we’ll take it to go, thank you.”

She packaged the cupcake and walked back to hand me the items. “Here’s your drink and here’s the cupcake for your friend“. She could see right through that my friend was my butt cheeks and thunder thighs waiting for some chocolate sugah. The ironic thing is that I got home and took a bite and it was as dry as cured ham on a summer picnic table. After humiliating myself, and all other fat girls across the universe that I represent, the damn thing didn’t even taste good! I chucked it.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. The Biggest Loser made me cry tonight, seeing how much weight all those people lost and how happy they are. Maybe my diet angels felt my pain and are flying over right now to save me.

Lord knows I can’t do it on my own.

And that’s the saddest Fat Girl Confession of all.

***
peace, respect & glitter.
See the new line of Crafty Chica products at select Michaels stores!! All content/photos copyright, © Kathy Cano-Murillo, 2008.

Love & light,


One Response

  1. Kathy, you made me laugh out loud and I’m sitting here at my computer all by myself. Thanks!

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Kathy Cano-Murillo

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Hi, I’m Kathy, The Crafty Chica! My specialty is creative motivation. I’m an artist, author, and speaker and this is where I share my craft tutorials, artwork, articles, books, product lines, and workshops!

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