Can we talk about first-born daughters?
This week I was part of a super cool line-up of storytellers and the topic was first born daughters – #1 daughters to be exact! Hosted by TueNight (a fabulous site for and about 40+ women) and sponsored by AARP, six #1 daughters took a turn to share their experience.
The event
The event was a combo of both virtual and in-person. Because our stories were somewhat emotional, we were asked to invite close friends and family members to hang out with us during the livestream event.
About being a first born daughter
If you know, you know!
For me, my biggest responsibilities came early. Like many other first-born daughters, I helped out a lot when my little sister came into this world. Here I am a couple years before. Don’t you loved how my mom styled me? Ruffled top, with a crocheted vest, a velvet skirt and black patent-leather boots!
This is when all I had to worry about was eating a cupcake in peace, lol!
But my story for the TueNight event took place decades later.
Of all the #1 daughter stories I have in my memory arsenal, this one came to mind first.
The story I chose
The story I chose was about when my dad – the iconic family tamal maestro – found out he had cancer during the holidays and would not be able to make them that year. Although we didn’t dare speak it aloud, my family knew he may never be able to make them again – period.
That’s how severe his diagnosis was.
I jumped in to try and save the day.
At first I assumed my goal was to do this for him and for the family, but by the time we bit into the finished goods, I knew it was my way of savoring the last days with him.
You can read the written version of my story here:
I made Christmas tamales for my dad. He knew they were really for me.
Enter friends and family for support!
My friend, Christina, came over, as well as my son, DeAngelo, and my other friend Diana!
We all talked about the importance of our birth order and the role it plays in our perspectives of daily life work, career, relationships – everything. I loved it because these were conversations we wouldn’t have normally had together. But there we were, chatting about our childhoods and what we still carry with us today.
This is what made the event so special, the six women all come from diverse backgrounds, yet our stories were united in passion and emotion.
Check out the other #1 daughter stories here!
The Moment I Found Out I Wasn’t My Mother’s Firstborn: A Tale of Ancestral Healing
Who Made Me the Boss, Exactly?
Taking the Wheel on My Mom’s Care
Being a Good Daughter — and Putting Myself First
It Took My Mom’s Death to Lift the Burden of Being the Responsible One
We wrote our stories and then they were published on TueNight, then we read them out loud for the virtual event. People were then able to comment and connect back with us.
We were sent a box of goodies which included signs and metallic pens to decorate and hold up during the event.
Things I learned after connecting with other first born daughters:
We are hyper-independent. It’s nice to have directions, but if they aren’t there, we will figure it out on our own. We are queens of accessing resources!
We are natural leaders.
We deal with Hero Syndrome. Is that a thing? Where you always want to save the day? Sometimes we put too much responsibility upon ourselves. Okay, a lot of times.
Most of all, our hearts are big with L-O-V-E!
Are you a first-born daughter? What do you think?
Related:
Yes, first born daughters share many similarities….love your nostalgic story with your dad and the tamales….caught at my heart even tho am as old as the hills….you however, are admirable in that you developed your many artistic and creative skills…thank you for being here for us and for sharing as you do…88 year old Latina….